Baby Name Drama...

Yesterday was rough.

My facebook status after about 1:00 yesterday afternoon was (and still is) that I am "A bit of a hormonal wreck today."

I really wasn't "fishing" for comments or support as Brian would say. Just being honest. And I honestly wanted my neighbors to read it. Whether they posted anything or not, I guarantee they know what it was about and I wanted them to know I was pretty torn up about it.

So, a brief explanation is probably summed up best with the email I wrote my best friends back home after several of them were concerned about me. Here it is:

Girls,

Sorry to worry you guys with my facebook status (if you read it...) I've had a hormonally charged, rough day....

For a LONG time, the name for our little guy has been between "Declan" and "Logan". For the past 5 weeks, Connor has been very insistent on "Declan". He has even gone so far as to say that he will be "mad" if we name him Logan and that "Logan is mean." He hasn't backed down or changed his tune at all...I bought letters for his room, etc. We have a name.

Well, today has not been so fun.

We have neighbors that live about 4 doors down (opposite side of the street). No one was aware of their journey to have a child. No one knew she can't have children, no one knew they were going to adopt. Well, we got an email this morning from another neighbor telling us that things moved faster than they thought and they are driving home with their newly adopted baby boy TODAY from Iowa. They have nothing. The email was to "rally the troops" so-to-speak to let them borrow stuff until we have a shower for them or they get it for themselves. I messaged to ask what the name is...thinking I would get balloons or make a sign, etc.

Several hours later she wrote back.

Declan Ernest Emmick

Crushed.

The VAST majority of the hood knows that that is our name...or at least that it was between Declan and Logan. I do not know if she knew or not. I'm hoping that she did not know. I feel like it has been stolen from me. Regardless, there is a bit of sadness now. If we change it (which I don't think we will) then there is the feeling of being forced to change and I never want to regret or question the name that we chose for our baby boy. I would hate to have to tell him when he's six, "yeah, your name was going to be Declan, but the dopes down the street stole it 15 weeks before you were born." Then if we don't change it, he has to share a bit of his identity/name from the very start...with someone his age that lives right down the street. I realize that the name is becoming more and more common, but most people that I've talked to up here have never heard it before I mentioned it or they say, "is that the name of the guy on Revenge?" No one actually knows anyone with that name. (I heard it in February and it is the name of one of the main characters in Leap Year.)

I also don't want them to be mad if we don't back down. I'm sorry, but this kid has been growing in my belly for a while now and that is how I've thought of him...we'll just have 2. Whether I like it or not, it takes away from their kid as well. And then there is the question of telling them. What is an appropriate way of saying, "listen that is our name and we aren't changing it, so I hope you are okay with having 2 of them after September!" She's never been pregnant, I can imagine that she will think that changing ours is not a big deal....that isn't how it works.

Most people I have talked to have the same response...don't change it. And we most likely will not. We probably won't even live here in 5 years, and that will be his name for the rest of his life. But regardless, today has been hard. Many tears have been shed.

I am also very upset that I went from being so excited for them & their new little family, and even a potential playmate for our little guy to being irritated and mad. I'm hoping I can be happy for them soon, but right now I am feeling robbed. I am thankful that most people know that we had the name first....at least for now we will not appear to be the thieves.

Anyway, just a rough day. Of all the fricken names in the word, they had to pick Declan....

I don't know what my advice is...make it public on Facebook so everyone knows you are committed...perhaps even a sign for the yard.... Or never tell anyone the name until he/she is born. I don't know if I'll ever know if they outright stole it from us.......

At the end of the day, I'm trying to keep some perspective. We've waited so long for this precious little boy, and I am so thankful that he appears to be healthy and growing in my belly right now. :) Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. I guess you'll need to stand by on the name....what was pretty set in stone is suddenly not so certain to me now.... :(

Love you guys. Sorry to worry you.

So, there it is. By the end of last night I was very tired, eyes swollen (from crying and it felt like some sort of chemical reaction from some sun screen....great combination...) and quite snappy at Brian and Connor too. I needed to go to bed. When I woke up this morning, I knew that it was still a reality and I know that there is only about a 1/2% chance that anything will be different today or in the future. I am trying to decide if I am going to go to the baby shower that is being held for them next week. I will provide a gift regardless, but Brian's parents will be at our house that weekend and I'm honestly not sure I'm ready to meet their little Declan. Oh, and my brother had a great idea....start calling him "Dee" (his initials) from the start. I'm not sure they would be too keen on that, but I got a kick out of it for sure. Christian, thank you for being devastated for us. I'm also kinda waiting to see if someone else in the hood is going to tell them that they took our name.... there has been essentially no response to her announcement of his name (via our neighborhood community) and I know it is because everyone is uncomfortable... not the most fun situation in the world, that is for sure. Oh well. Drama.