Little Brother

I really haven't made many purchases for this little one. Connor does own a couple of "Big Brother" tshirts (one from last September and one for this pregnancy). The most recent one is the perfect partner to the purchase I made today....
I specifically love that it is newborn size. Connor was teeny-tiny and had to have some preemie outfits, so hopefully this doesn't swallow ———.

More hours, please

I need more hours in the day...on most days.

Today, I have 2 book covers that are now past due (urg...) and a rush cover that is due on Friday. I make WAY more money on these than I do stationary, so it should be a priority, and yet somehow it slipped.

I owe a client marketing card designs (for a logo I did), about 3 invoices that need to be done, comps sent to 2 different clients. Original designs to do for 3 more...needed ASAP of course. I also have 2 flats of zinnias that need to be planted (I have managed to keep them looking good in the flats so far), 3 coneflowers to plant, and no less than 4 loads of laundry that are dumped on the floor in my living room....getting very wrinkled I'm quite sure.

Thank goodness, I committed several weeks ago to NOT do the neighborhood garage sale this year. The preview begins tomorrow and I think that would just absolutely push me over the edge.

Of course the most comical thing is that I just listed many things that I should be doing and yet somehow I find the time to post about my lack of time on the blog.....hmmm.

Seeing HIM.....a little honesty, too.

We could not have asked for our ultrasound and follow-up appointment to have gone any better yesterday morning.
Within moments of placing the wand on my belly, the ultrasound technician spun the screen around and it became quite clear that we are having a baby BOY! Talk about a "money" shot right off the bat!

She then proceeded to do all her checks and measurements for the next 45 minutes. I drank fully caffeinated coffee yesterday morning hoping that he would move around for her (unlike his big brother at his 20 week ultrasound!). It worked great and he checked out wonderfully. Then it was time for the "fun" shots and he pretty much refused to give us a good profile picture. We have an amazing one of Connor that shows his little nose just as it is today. Maybe next time. We do have a couple of 3D pictures that we did not have with Connor. Of course we think he is adorable, but honestly a little alien-like still, too.

Following that appointment, I had my normal appt. with Dr. Lown. We had to wait a while, but that allowed us to notify a couple of folks via text from the waiting room. We wanted Connor to tell our parents and he was staying at the Wiggerman's house playing with Berkley, Cooper & Dawson until we were finished.

Dr. Lown said he couldn't be more pleased and was glad I finally gained some weight...what?! I've gained 10 lbs. That is fine with me and honestly, since my fluid levels were so low by the end of my pregnancy with Connor, I'd actually like to gain a few more if that means that my fluid levels are better and safer for this little guy. (I gained 31 with Connor.)

Dr. Lown also mentioned that Metro (where ——— will be born) was overflowing with babies right now. He said all the postpardum rooms were full and they had 4 women pushing! Metro is a smaller hospital and right by our house....seriously, less than 3-4 minutes away. As soon as he was finished with me, we saw him literally run out of the office to go deliver a baby! Fun stuff!

We picked up Connor and told him the good news. He was excited and then something weird happened in the car about 5 minutes later. I'm not sure exactly what it had to do with, but we glanced back and he was very sad and subdued. He just said he didn't want to talk. Okay. Of course as soon as Brian told him that he could pick a special gift for his new baby brother AND one for himself he perked right up.

I wanted to try out a different Italian place for lunch and carbo-loaded and told our parents over lunch. :) Then we went to Meijer to find a toy. Not much luck there but Target had a "Chase" Rescue Bot that Connor selected for himself and we a little aid from us, a "on the go" Gentle Giraffe that plays soothing sounds for his not-yet-born brother.

Now for the honesty part.

I hate crying. I really dislike being "pooly" and yet my eyes are still puffy from a late afternoon of tears. I especially hate crying on a wonderful day that we found out we are having a healthy baby boy! I truly am absolutely ecstatic and so so thankful for the many many blessings we have been given. Throughout my pregnancy when people asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl, I could say with great honesty that I didn't care. That is and was true. Health, especially after knowing many that have experienced children with health problems and scares was and is the most important thing to me.

However, it looks like I've been crying because I'm sad or disappointed. I am NOT. Connor is going to be an adorable big brother and I KNOW that this baby is going to bring us so much happiness and joy....an absolute gift from God.

With that said (and hopefully understood), I spent some time yesterday afternoon relinquishing ideas that have been in my head since I was a little girl. See, we are likely "done" having kiddos after this sweet baby comes along. I'm not going to say anything definitely, but I've always thought that I would only have 2...regardless of sex. I don't believe in having another baby simply to "try" for a specific sex. Perhaps I will want 3 baby boys of my own in the future, but right now I need to see how it is with the 2 that I've been given. :) Anyway, I just needed to shed a few tears about not having tea parties or going to an American Girl store or even watching Annie and other "girly" movies with a daughter of my own. I will likely never plan a wedding or pick out a prom dress or talk about boys, get our nails done, or spend hours coloring at my kitchen table.  All of this is okay. I just needed to shed a few tears embrace my reality. I never think I had my life "planned" and I am not disappointed in what God knows is best for me and my family. I honestly think that at some level, any woman that is "girly" at all (and I am not too extreme on that spectrum) would have feelings like this if given a houseful of boys. I just don't think many people admit it or talk about it. There is a fear that it will be viewed as disappointment. I'm hoping that my honesty is not misunderstood this way. It is not something that I want to talk about, but I likely will get teary again, and as I've said, I really hate crying.

I never ever want this little baby to think that he was "supposed" to be a girl. HE IS NOT! I am so excited and proud of the baby boy that he already is, the boy that he will become, and the man that he will turn into. I am looking forward to being the "queen" of my own castle and will hopefully have 2 boys that adore their mom. :) I am already praying for wonderful daughter-in-laws that most importantly make my boys happy, but hopefully will also embrace their mom and let me do girl stuff with them. However, in the meantime I am really looking forward to being a mom of little boys! Dirt, sports, bugs, boo-boos, super heroes, plaid shorts, crocs, tan little summer bodies and LOTS of energy.

The bottom line is that I think that one of the greatest gifts (in addition to our children of course) is not getting to choose. I find great comfort in knowing that God has given us exactly what we can handle and exactly what our family needs.....a precious baby boy. We really could not be more excited about the newest member of our family and we can't wait to meet him at the end of September!

The shot we got the second she put the wand on my belly!

Precious little face.

he had his arms crossed and near his face a lot

I believe that is a foot....not sure though..

sort of a whole body shot...sort of...can't see much of the legs

hiding from us again

The best "profile" shot we got...little bugger!

By the way, I would expect fathers with a houseful of girls to go through a similar "grieving" process. I'm sure I'm not the only one.... :)
I'm also, SO GLAD we found out his gender now. I'm thankful that we got our surprise yesterday instead of on his birthday. When he is born, I will have already processed everything and will experience pure joy...with a few touches of pain thrown in...that's okay, he's worth it. :)

———

Little buddy, (we'll figure out your name soon, I hope)

I love you so much already and I am so glad that you are going to be our son. You are fearfully and wonderfully made just exactly as you are supposed to be and you are exactly what I wanted! I can't wait to hold you, hug you and shower you with kisses. Your big brother, Connor is so excited and told us yesterday that he wants to teach you how to crawl and play rough with you! He loves you already. I hope that you guys will be wonderful friends and compliment one another with your likenesses and differences. Daddy is so excited to have another little guy in the house and maybe even another golfing buddy! I can only hope that you are as happy that we are your parents as we are that you are our son.

I treasure our time together right now, as I feel you moving around in my belly. As much as I want to meet you, stay in there for another 20 weeks or so to "cook" a little longer. By then, I promise your room will be ready. I'm already having fun deciding how to decorate just with you in mind.

Love you forever,
Mommy

19 weeks! — Bump Progression (1st)

Tomorrow is the big day!

I've been so busy (barely left my office for more than 30 minutes all day), but I promised my mom I would take this picture and post it...

Aren't I large... at least I was smarter this time and actually wore a maternity tank top. The cable knit shirt I wore with Connor was pretty much shot by the end! And no timer this time...too lazy to get out the tripod.

Click here to compare this series to when Connor was growing in my belly!

sleep-little

I was going to title this post "sleepless" but that is not true. I do require sleep and so does Connor. Apparently, we just don't require much....

Even after a full day at school yesterday (I'm sure he took a good nap there even though he refuses to nap at home), I'm ashamed to say he was awake until 10:45 last night. He was happy and I was busy, so why not? I figured he'd sleep in.

wrong.

He was up at 5:27. I happened to get up because Mitsy was attacking something through the glass slider door in the basement (it was another cat on the porch) and I realized Toonces was still outside, so I got up and let her in from the deck upstairs. Of course while I was up I had to pee. Then I heard, "Mom, it is time to get up."

He walked straight to the upstairs utility bathroom right to me. And I thought I was being stealthly quiet. He proceeded to tell me he was scared of the shadows (damn street lights). I will say that I'm impressed he is not scared of the "monsters" or any of that stuff. He knows they are shadows, but they still freak him out. Then he told me that all he has to do is close his eyes and they go away. Then keep 'em shut, kiddo! I offered to lay in his bed with him for a while. After 30 minutes when I thought he was asleep and it was safe for me to get up I hear (in a totally normal mid-day voice), "Can we get up now?"

I guess so.

I told him he is not allowed to be grumpy or grouchy. If he gets that way he is going straight to bed. Maybe this means he'll take a nap this afternoon?? Lord knows I'll need one by then!

Sticker Currency

So, stickers don't have the same value that they had a month ago.

However, last night Connor slept in his bed all night again. Probably because I upped the ante.

I told him that if he got 10 stickers, he could "pick a toy". He is very excited again and came in our room at 6:40 announcing that he earned a sticker. Thankfully he crawled in bed with us and went back to sleep.

We'll see how long this method lasts. :)

My money (or stickers...ha) is on him choosing a Transformer Rescue Bot as his toy....

Connor's Conference with Ms. Sarah

We just had Connor's conference with his teacher, Ms. Sarah today. I thought I'd type it out because I'm confident I will not hold on to the form that I was given. So, here goes...

Child's strengths in social-emotional, physical, language, and cognitive development:
Connor is a wonderful and sweet child. He loves to play with everyone but has one or two really good friends. His language skills are good and he has been doing great expressing his feelings using words with his peers. He does a pretty good job at problem solving and figuring things out on his own.


Child's strengths in learning literacy, math, science and technology, social studies, and the arts:
Connor has recently taken a larger interest in looking at books. He likes to converse with his peers about the pictures. He does fairly well using the computer and navigating the mouse. He can count to 12 successfully (really to 20, but he tends to leave out 13) and he knows all of his colors.


Plan for this child's development and learning:
I would like to work on letter recognition with Connor, including name recognition. His fine motor skills are average for his age, practicing writing and drawing more will help with this.