Tuesday was a great day.

I'm a couple of days late with this post....but I don't really think it matters since they are only being "saved" and not published yet anyway.

Tuesday, March 13th was a great day. We'd been waiting for this day for the last 4 weeks. At my last OB appointment, Dr. Lown told us that the real test would be if the baby's heartbeat was strong enough to be heard with only a doppler.  We've waited and waited to share our wonderful news until the success of this appointment.

Although the doctor said not to panic if we were unable to hear the heartbeat with just the doppler (would do an ultrasound), I'm not a big fan of ultrasounds anymore. I'm batting about 50/50 with those being positive/negative experiences.

Through several weeks or pretty extreme nausea (that I never experienced with Connor) and some very tired days (but not as bad as Connor) the symptoms seemed to get a lot better around week 9.5. Although I was thankful for the relief, it also made me a little nervous. I have been more paranoid than I thought I would be about this pregnancy & baby. I guess that is what a miscarriage will do.

I think the part that messed with my head the most is that last time, I had no reason to think that anything was wrong. In my mind, I was 9 weeks pregnant. I'd known for approximately 5 woeeks and had those 5 weeks to experience pregnancy symptoms and let the excitement grow exponentially on a daily basis. Although my heart was telling me to have faith, my head kept going back to last time.

I guess one of my biggest reassurances this time around is that I am freaking huge.....to not even be in my second trimester. This does make me feel better.

At the appointment, I was calm and optimistic. I even took a leap of faith and went ahead and paid for our portion of the delivery! ($441 that isn't covered by our insurance) Brian was cool and calm too, but after I paid, he did ask me, "what happens if the baby dies?" Obviously the risks are very real for him too.

Once Dr. Lown came in and we chatted for a bit, it was time for the doppler. That was a really really long 30-45 seconds. It took him a while hunting around, but then we heard the most beautiful sound. My eyes lit up and filled with tears. 160 beats per minute. He let us listen for a little while. What a little miracle. Although Lown continued to say that he will feel much better after the end of the month, he also said that he is not worried about us or this baby at all. The 7 week ultrasound had the baby's heartbeat at 137 bpm. He told us on Tuesday that typically babies that have a heartbeat stronger than 120 beats per minute are able to sustain life and develop normally. With 160 bpm today we feel wonderful and are willing to share our news.

Although I felt a little foolish for even asking. I did ask Dr. Lown if it was even biologically possible for me to be able to feel the baby move. I only asked because on Monday night, I swear I felt him/her. It was a tiny flutter, but it was real and that was the first thing that popped into my head. But at only 10 weeks at 4 days how is it even possible. Dr. Lown said with a second baby and since I am rather "thin" he is quite confident that I did feel the baby. But asked me NOT to freak out if I don't feel it on a daily basis. No problem. That was just another little answered prayer....a little reassurance just when I needed it.

We are "telling" but since Connor and I are going "home" on the 24th and I am going to see a bunch of my college buddies in person, I want to save this little surprise. Our wonderful news will become offically facebook public after that.

The timing has also been wonderful because after a truly bizarre winter, we have bypassed spring. The temperatures were in the 80s on Wednesday...March 14th! Up to this point, I've been able to "hide" my growing bump beneath coats and jackets. Not after Wednesday. I had on as little clothing as possible and was thrilled to get a bit of a slight sunburn while Connor played outside with tons of neighborhood kiddos.

Fun times ahead. :)