Although I have pretty thick skin in some situations, at other times, when I feel that someone is disappointed in me, I tend to melt into a pool of tears. Although probably NOT so extreme, I know Brian has the same kind of feelings.
Connor does too.
While we were in Georgia there were two instances where it could have been perceived that a stranger "got onto" him. The first was at gymnastics and a woman (who I'm confident thought Connor was probably 4.5 or 5) snapped at him because he passed her daughter on the steps leading to the balance beam. I was not standing right there, but saw her reaction and could read her lips that she was pointing and telling him he needed to apologize. Of course I went over there and she told me that "he startled" her child. God forbid. I agree that he needed to be more careful, but it is gymnastics and he is 3. There is no need to freak out. Her child was absolutely fine, meanwhile, my traumatized child was in tears for the next 10 minutes. At one point he told me he just wanted to go home. Thankfully, 2 uncles arriving at the gym to play helped distract him a bit.
The other situation is almost comical because I have almost been forbidden to mention "the gate". For some reason, he did NOT want Brian to know what happened. We were home for 2 days before I was allowed to tell Brian...and Connor wasn't even in trouble. He was just embarrassed and didn't want Brian to be disappointed in him I guess.
Several days before we left Georgia, my dad took Connor and Torin to the newly inhabited neighbor's backyard. They have a small pool that has a little "fountain", waterfall thingy that the boys wanted to see. No problem. The next day and our last day there, after all the cousins had gone home Connor was outside with my dad. While my dad was doing something else, Connor took it upon himself to enter the gate to the neighbor's yard. I'm not sure how far he got, but he was greeted by a small, black, "yippee" dog. Kailey, the wife and mother of the dog came out running with a broom to make sure the dog wasn't getting too aggressive with Connor. She did NOT yell at Connor or anything like that. I was inside and saw everything that transpired from the point of Kailey swatting the dog with the broom. Connor exited the yard with great speed. He ran 1/2 way around the house and then turned around. I came out the back and talked to my dad. He told me the first 1/2 of the story and I proceeded to look for Connor. He wasn't in the back, wasn't in the front, I went inside and heard sobbing. I found him on the couch, face down, in the pillow. "I was looking for you!" with tears streaming down his face. "You weren't here." I told him I'd come to find him!! I picked him up and he continued to cry into my shoulder. It didn't matter that I wasn't mad or that he wasn't in trouble (even though he did trespass). He knew what he did was wrong and he was devastated with himself.
See, not a big deal. The next day during our drive home, about 5 hours into the trip Connor told me out of the blue that I didn't have to worry. He wasn't going to go in the gate ever again. Within seconds of arriving home and seeing Brian after a week, "don't tell Daddy about the gate."
And now we have this morning.
Prior to our trip, we discovered that if Connor had the opportunity to earn stickers for sleeping my himself in his bed all night that it worked like a charm. Occasionally, he would appear in our room and basically tell us that he didn't need a sticker that day, but for the most part, it was working great. I think our trip threw things off a bit. He got very used to me sleeping in the same bed with him. He has earned a sticker since we've been back, but they seem to have lost a bit of their value in the middle of the night.
I spent the night on the couch in the basement last night (not too uncommon for me not to be in our bed). When Connor got up at 7:30 he came down to find me. The first words out of his mouth were "Can I pick a sticker?". Sure buddy!! We snuggled and watched a Jake & the Neverland Pirates and then went upstairs to get his milk and let him pick a sticker. He chose a John Deere tractor. Several minutes later, Brian came out of the bedroom and asked if Connor got a sticker. Not knowing any better, I said, "Yes! He chose a tractor!". Brian hugs Connor and says, "but last night you when you were crawling in bed with me, you said you didn't need a sticker." Uh oh. CAUGHT! I asked him if he went into mommy and daddy's bed. He looked at me and his lip started to quiver. We weren't mad. He wasn't in trouble. I just told him that he could always tell us the truth. I did not take the sticker off, I just told him that he needed to dress himself this morning so he could earn it another way.
Again, he buried his head in my shoulder and sobbed. Not too bad this time. Brian grabbed him too and told him the same thing....we weren't mad. We just have a sensitive child.
I remember being like that as a little kid too. I also remember refusing to ask adults for any favor because I didn't want to feel like a bother. This included asking for rides or even having to interview someone for a school project. I just hope that Connor does not get scarred in the same way that I was.....whatever it was that happened to me!
So, if you are an adult and you are reading this....be careful with our little man. A little correction or discipline goes a long way.....especially if it isn't coming from me or B. :)
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